Today’s chapter was on withstanding the winds of change.  The only thing in life that is certain is change. The winds of change will either make you stronger or knock you down.    The book today talks about the problem with most of us is, that in the midst of life’s worst blows, you cling to the past and romanticize about the way things used to be.  Change is really hard for most of us.  I know I have experienced some changes, that at first I really didn’t like.  It’s amazing though that when we stop clinging to the past and the ideal we have set it up as, the change can be quiet liberating. In my situation, I thought I was in my comfort zone and I did not like it one bit when my comfort zone got uncomfortable!  I thought, “Why can’t it be like it used to be?  God why are you allowing this to happen?”  I got mad at the people God was using to move me and I really wanted to go have a pity party.  I wanted to mourn for the way it used to be.  Then when I let go of it, I woke up and realized, “Hey, I like this change a whole lot!  I’m free to be me, this fits much better and I’m using the gifts and talents God gave me, “Wow God, why didn’t you do this sooner?”  Can’t you just hear Him, “You silly girl, if you would have let go and stop holding on to the past for dear life, you could have been here a lot sooner!”   God’s ways are not our ways, His ways are much higher.  Sometimes in the midst of our hurricanes we want to stay firmly in place, maybe God wants to remove something or send some cleansing rains that may change the landscape of your life.  Trust me all change is not bad. 

He has a plan and a purpose for each of us. When the storms come, hold on to that one thing that is never changing.  His love for you.  Trust Him and He will never leave you or forsake you.  When the storm passes, and you remove the debris, you just might like what you see. 

Today’s chapter talks about God being the creator of the universe verses the theory that it all just happened.  If God did create the universe and if He did in fact have a plan for all this, then why did He create me, what is my purpose for being here?

In the book today it talks about when you look at the complexities of creation here on this earth it’s very evident that Some one is behind it all.  There are so many stars and galaxies and then the seasons and a snow flake and people with the ability to communicate, love, feel and learn.  How could all that just happen? I like what it said according to Edwin Conklin, a professor of Biology at Princeton, “The probability of life originating from an accident is comparable to the probability of a dictionary resulting from an explosion in a printing factory.”  If there were no creator, then we’re just all here by accident, how can there be purpose in life?  We would basically just be a curious, self-aware kind of animal. 

I believe with all my heart that God created this universe and He has a reason and a plan for everything, and I certainly think that it is all far beyond my comprehension.  I do believe also that just as certain as there is a Creator; there is one who wants to destroy us as well.  The Bible says he (Satan) came to steal, kill and destroy.  Satan tries to convince us that we aren’t worthy, good enough or valuable enough to do anything or become anything that God has planned for us.  The problem is so often we believe him.  I love when the book OMTL, gives the example of The Lion King movie, when Simba has forgotten that he is the one true child of the king.  It’s so easy to forget who created us.  He has all the power in the universe and we are like the kid trying to remove a huge rock out of the sand box, when dad is standing right there with a shovel, ready to take care of it, if we would just ask. 

The more we learn about God and the closer we draw to Him the more He will reveal to us what our purpose is.  I just can’t believe that He made all this, sent His Son to die for us, is preparing Heaven for us and He wants us to be miserable in life.  I do believe He wants us to know our purpose and to live in a way that pleasing to Him will bring us a lot of happiness and peace while we are here.  

I really liked the analogies in today’s chapter.  It compared people in our lives to tools in a tool shed.  Each one has a specific reason it’s there and can be used to craft us into the work of art God wants us to be.  Here are some examples from the book…

*Sandpaper people rub you the wrong way, but they are really smoothing off your rough edges or sharpening you into a better tool for God to use.

*Measuring tape people are those that let you know that you are always falling short of their expectations.  You never measure up.  These people can be instrumental it making you realize you should look to God for approval, not others.

*Hammer people use force to get their way.  They could be in your life to cause you to stand up and be strong. 

*Skill Saws are naturally gifted at cutting others down, they win verbal arguments every time, not because they are right, but because they know where the weak spot is to cut down the other person.

*Vise grips get a grip on you and squeeze the life right out of you.  They are always needy and always have a crisis.

*Grinders, have an explosive personality, just waiting to go off and send the sparks flying.

*Axes tend to be negative and grumbling, looking for ways to tear down the hopes and dreams of others.

*Putty people have no consistency or backbone, always say yes and are always spread to thin.

God is much more interested in our character than in our comfort, He uses these people in our lives to shape us into who we need to be.  When people come into our lives, instead of getting irritated at them, we need to ask, “God what are you trying to build in my character?”

That’s a run down on the chapter from the book.  I know I used to be a putty person, actually at sometime I think I’ve been probably every tool in the shed.  I’m not proud of that fact.  I’ve also dealt with about every tool in the shed and I have not enjoyed it, but it has shaped me and molded me into the person I am now.  I never thought of it that way until I read the chapter in OMTL.  It’s a good way to think about it when people come into our lives that seem a little less than pleasant.    

Today’s chapter from the section, Love Completely, was on Forgiveness.  This was a difficult chapter for me.  For the most part, I really don’t hold grudges.  I’ve always thought of myself as someone who forgives pretty readily.  A few years ago I think that changed for me.  I was hurt deeply by people that I trusted and really thought a lot of.   When I was reading this chapter today, it said read the Lord’s Prayer and think about the part that says, “And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  Think about that statement, do I really want God to forgive me the same way I forgive those who have wronged me?  I know how important it is to forgive so that bitterness doesn’t set in.  I even tried to bargain with God that the part about forgiving our trespassers, shouldn’t apply in my case.  I told God when I tell Him I’m sorry for something, I really mean it and I really try hard not to do it again.  Those people that hurt me aren’t even sorry, they haven’t said sorry and they would hurt me over again if they could.  The book said today, “Someone once wisely observed that to forgive is to set a prisoner free and to discover the prisoner was you.”  When we harbor unforgiveness, it turns into bitterness and that bitterness will destroy you.   Bitterness blocks the blessings God wants to pour into your life.  It doesn’t really matter if the people who hurt me are sorry or not, I need to forgive them.  I can’t change them, that’s not my job, that’s between them and God.  God has a power that I don’t have, that’s a power to forgive and forget.  I must choose to forgive and move on with what God has for me.  God has forgiven me for so many things that He could hold me accountable for.  He gave His only Son, so that I could be forgiven.  I really don’t deserve that kind of complete love.  I have to realize that people are just people, they will disappoint us and they will hurt us.  We can all be deceived by Satan.  He is the enemy, not the people in our lives that hurt or disappoint us.   Someone said tonight in Growth Group that some people just can’t give you what you need.  We cannot stay mad with those people because they are incapable of giving us what we need from them. 

I’m not saying it’s easy, or that it will happen over night, but I am saying that we must choose to forgive those who have hurt us if we want to have joy and peace in our own lives.  In our own power we can’t do this, it is a God thing to be able to forgive someone that you feel has wronged you.  Sometimes it can be a daily prayer, “God help me to focus on your love and your forgiveness and help me to forgive others today, just as you have forgiven me.”  

Today’s chapter was about scaling the obstacles to unity.  We talked about these points on Sunday.  There are 3 mountains people have to overcome in relationships:  The Mountain of Misunderstanding, The Mountain of Me First, The Mountain of Mistakes. 

I know that Carl and I have had to scale each one of these mountains at some point in time in our relationship.  We got married right out of high school and had some very unrealistic expectations about marriage.  We were immature and broke, that’s not a great way to start a marriage.  Marriage is hard work in the best of situations.  We have been married 26 years now and it gets sweeter with every year.  It is truly a miracle that we made it through those first years together.  Looking back now we can take those mistakes and use them to help others that are going through a rough time in their relationships.  God held us together even though Satan was trying every way possible to rip us apart.  We have definitely tried this thing called marriage on both sides of the fence, with God and without God.  I would never want to go back to the other way.  It really is true, the closer you grow to God the closer you will grow together.  I absolutely love serving God with Carl and sharing every day with him and just seeing what God has next. 

If our relationship can work I believe anybody can make it work.  God in the center is the key.  It takes two and it’s not something one person can do by themselves.  All of us have faults and short comings and do things that will drive our mate crazy at times.  I just think whenever possible you could stick it out and do everything you can to make it work.  It really is worth it to work at it.  I just thank God every day for keeping us together and for the miracle He has worked in our lives. 

Today’s reading was about relating and not waiting.  It talks about how difficult relationships can be and how many obstacles there are to loving other people and being loved by them. 

This morning at exactly 1:22 my phone rang waking me up out of a really good sleep.  I had went to bed about 11:30 and had just settled into that good sleep.  When the phone rings at that time of the night you just know that it’s not going to be good.  My sister was on the other end of the line telling me that my dad’s sugar had bottomed out and wouldn’t even register on the meter.  He was gray in color and incoherent so she had called the rescue squad to come get him.  I jumped out of bed, threw some clothes on and headed to the hospital to meet them there.  A lot of things were going through my mind on the way to the hospital in the car.  What if this was it for my dad?  Would mom be okay?  I started thinking about dad’s last days and wondering if he had regrets about his life.  Last night I saw my dad, he was at my uncles house assisting them with redoing their cabinets.  He’s always doing stuff for other people, he is faithful in his ministry, faithful to his wife and family.  He has always been a hard worker and someone to lend a hand to anyone who needed it. 

When the rescue squad got there, a young lady working with them said, “Hey I know you, you used to stand at the door and welcome people in and you used to always give me a piece of candy.”  They gave dad a glucose tube and he ate something and he registered 81 on the meter.  His color had returned and he went to bed and got some rest and is at the doctor today.  Meanwhile, I’m sitting in the waiting room at the ER.  Kristi calls and says we’re going to bed they fixed dad here and he’s going to the doctor in the morning.  Well, after a caffeinated diet Coke and a big adrenaline rush, I head back home and crawl in the bed only to lay awake for a couple of hours thinking about what could have been and thanking God for another chance. 

There’s nothing like that 1:22 AM phone call to make you take inventory in where you are in your relationships in life.  My dad knows I love him and I know he loves me.  Sunday I had fixed lunch for him and mom at my house, that’s not something I do often, but I think it’s something that I will try to do more.  Time spent together is of great value and is never wasted.  Relationships are really where it’s at.  

The lines of communication must stay open in order to have good relationships.  One of the questions for today’s chapter was, “Do you consider yourself a good listener?”  I snickered to myself and ask Carl, “Do you consider me a good listener?”  I knew what his answer was going to be before I even ask the question.  His immediate response was, “No!”  So I ask, “Why not?”  Acting like I was hurt by the answer, but knowing all along his reasoning behind it.  He replied, “The only time you are a good listener is when we are on vacation!  The rest of the time you can’t listen because of your gottas.”  The said fact is he is right.  What he means by my “gottas” is my to do list.  I always say, “We gotta do this; we gotta take care of that…”  I usually have a list of our “gottas” and it drives him crazy.  I am a multitasker, as most women are.  When I watch a movie with the family, I also fold laundry or when we are having a conversation, I’m straightening up the house or washing the dishes.  He says I’m not listening because he doesn’t have my undivided attention.  Even though in most cases I can repeat back to him exactly what he just said.

Kerry Shook, said in today’s chapter his son used to grab his chin and turn his face so he was looking right into his eyes to make sure he had his daddy’s full attention.  Carl said he was going to start doing that to me.  So obviously I need to work on my listening skills.  I’m sure that is true with God too, I go to Him with my “gotta” list and sometimes for all of us, it is so hard to be still and know that He is God.  I really need to learn to sit quietly and just listen with my heart.  How often do I really communicate with Him during my day?  Today’s chapter was called, Last Call, it was about opening your heart and taking off the armor that we have on when we communicate with others.  It was also about being open and honest with those we love.  If we only had 30 days to live how would it change the way we communicate with those we love and especially with God?    

Today’s chapter in the book, One Month to Live by Kerry and Chris Shook compares doing life without the power of God to pushing a motorcycle around the motor cross track without ever kick starting the engine. That would be pretty hard to do and a whole lot less fun than using the power available. So why do we try to do life powerless when the power is right there available?

I was thinking about one of the previous chapters this morning, the one that talked about our spiritual, emotional, physical and relational health. I was thinking that in my own power there is no way I can balance these and do life the way I need to. Every day I am going to try to start off the day by having at least 10 minutes of meditation time to read and pray and ask God to give me the power that only comes from Him to be spiritually healthy. Then I am going to ask Him to give me the drive to go do some sort of physical activity to stay physically healthy. For my relational well being I am going to try to send texts, emails, facebook messages or phone calls to let people know when I am thinking of them or thankful for them. So often we think nice things about people but we never let them know. If I only had 30 days left to live I would really want people to know how much they mean to me. Communication with others is a key to keeping the energy where it needs to be in a relationship. As far as emotionally goes, if my spiritual, physical and relational health is well, I believe emotionally I will be too. I think the biggest thing emotionally is rest. We all can get overwhelmed and run down and tired. God is our power source and our example. In Genesis it says on the seventh day He rested, so why do we think we are better equipped than God not to need to rest? The key is balance and realizing that in our own power we are not the energizer bunny, we cannot keep going and going and going without the true power source. We all need to recharge every day. I don’t want to be pushing around the track powerless I want to go full throttle, don’t you?

One of the nastiest high-side crashes I ever had was with my finances. Nikki and I came together without a real plan for our money. So it went where it wanted. We would spend everything we made and use credit cards to spend more. With just 2 people, we somehow made it 2 ½ years like that. To be honest: it was kind of fun. We bought whatever we wanted. We were both used to having expendable income since we had not lived on our own prior to getting married. So the same lifestyle we had while dating continued into married life.

All that came crashing down once we had Sheridan. Now we had the cost of formula, diapers, baby clothes, and supplies not to mention $75/week for childcare. But again, we had no plan for how we were going to cover the extra expenses. So the money continued to go wherever it wanted.

It was February 2005. I can still remember the moment I logged in to our bank account online and saw the balance. There was $45 in the account with still over a week before payday. Formula for the week itself cost $50. Not to mention the babysitter had to be paid and groceries had to be purchased. My heart sank. The weight of responsibility came down hard and I crashed. It was ugly. It was in that moment that I felt like a complete failure as a husband, father, and leader of our home.

I was scared because I felt helpless and hopeless. How was I going to tell Nikki this? When you feel like you’re in a pit, all you can see around you is darkness. But there’s light when you look up. In that moment of brokenness, all I could do was pray. After I prayed, it’s like God brought something to mind. I had a friend that had told me about reading a book by Dave Ramsey about money management. So that week I went to the library and borrowed the book “Total Money Makeover” and immediately began to read it. It was a life-changing moment! I learned that I can tell my money where to go. I could actually win with our finances. The start is difficult because you have to get all your bills and debt together and it was only then that I realized how deep we really were. But the first step was to get a plan, a monthly budget, to start managing God’s resources. (Because that’s really what our income is: God’s income that we are called to manage wisely.) So that’s what we did.

At church the following Sunday, I can remember getting on my knees and praying this prayer: “God, it wasn’t your fault that I got into this but I have to have Your help to get out.” A weight was lifted. Now, 4 years later, we’re still doing the monthly budget, paid down all of our credit card debt, working hard to finish off student loans, and we’re able to give more than ever to our local church. It hasn’t always been easy. There have been some sacrifices but we have a plan now. And just like how it always is with God’s principles, a plan gives you so much freedom! Now we’re just working toward our goal of being completely debt free. I give all glory to God because He brought me through it.

In what area do you still feel the sting of a bad crash? God can help you get back up and back on track. But we have to lay it down at His feet. Whatever it is: broken relationships, finances, something you did in your past, He wants to help you back up again and back on your way to the finish line. Just pray and give it to Him.